I Timothy 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.
Philippians 4:11-12 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
I am currently in the last couple of weeks of pregnancy. Eden was "late", so I expect I have longer than a couple of weeks, but a girl can hope, right?
The last month or so of pregnancy is traditionally a time where the discomfort level goes up as the baby gets heavier and sleep doesn't come easily and your back is killing you and you have leg cramps and walking from the car to the front door has you panting like you just rant the 100 yard dash and you have contractions all the time (that the medical community calls "false" labor- "false" my foot! I'm the one stopped here in my tracks in the middle of the store!). Then there is the need to pee. It is URGENT, but then you get there and you can only eek out a teaspoon! Yes, you feel better, but you realize you just ran/waddled to the bathroom for a teaspoon of pee and yes, that is all you bladder will hold. Then there is the swelling that happens in feet, legs and hands. This occurs because of increased blood volume (necessary to grow another person) and because the baby gets bigger there at the end and sits on the veins that carry blood from the lower extremities to the heart. This causes pooling of blood in the feet and legs (those puffy, sometimes painful, feet) and is the reason you will often see really pregnant women at church (or work or the grocery store) in bedroom slippers.
Well, I breezed through my pregnancy with Eden. While I did have some of those symptoms, they were insignificant in the light of the miracle that was happening inside me! The fact that God himself was "knitting" together a new little person for His glory right there inside my womb was not only amazing and beautiful, it was something that made me feel connected to women across time and culture! Anyone who has experienced pregnancy can probably relate to this. Truly, how lovely to be a woman! I had a beautiful natural birth with Eden and literally within minutes of pushing her out, said out loud that I couldn't wait to do it again!! I really meant it!
All of this to say, I feel like I have missed the miracle this time. I understand what a difficult pregnancy is like now. I understand what it is like to forget that God is working because of the physical trials that are ever-present. I understand the people who take drastic measures to control their family size or wait 10 years before having a second child after a difficult pregnancy.
I'm not really going to whine... my babe is healthy and wiggly and due to arrive really soon. Yes, I have had some physical trials this time, but praise the Lord !! I now have actual sympathy for others who are living their pregnancies on the edge of a breakdown. I now know the exact things that are NEVER appropriate to say to a pregnant woman (maybe I'll post on that one day). I have been there, I have lived it. I just want to let all of you know that now I "get" it.